Relationships & Heartbreak · Hypnosis session
Jealousy in Relationships: Four Free Steps and a Way to Practise Them
Their phone lights up face-down on the bench and your stomach turns before you’ve had a single thought. Nothing has happened, and you know it. This page explains the two kinds of jealousy in relationships, gives you four free steps for the anxious kind, and offers a guided session to practise them in.
First, whose jealousy is this?If a partner checks your phone, tracks where you are, decides who you see, or turns cold or frightening when you are late, the right first call is a specialist service. 1800RESPECT lists a partner who “Shows extreme jealousy” or “Monitors your phone or location without consent” among the signs of an unhealthy relationship, and counts controlling, scaring or harming a partner as domestic, family or sexual violence.
That is also why the publisher’s session for living with a jealous partner isn’t listed here: being controlled calls for support, not for staying calmer about it.
- 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732, or text 0458 737 732. Open 24/7, with chat and video on their website.
- If you are in danger now, call 000.
- If the jealousy is yours and you have started checking, tracking or restricting a partner, that is the same list seen from the other side. Ring Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 and ask about individual counselling first.
“I’d choose this for the jealousy that runs ahead of any evidence, the checking and the midnight what-ifs. It gives you twenty quiet minutes to practise letting the story go. It can’t tell you what a partner is doing, and there’s a free sample first.”
Overcoming Jealousy
US$18.95one-off · no subscription · about A$27
I earn a commission if you buy through this page. It doesn’t change what you pay, and it doesn’t decide what I recommend.
Ninety days to change your mind, nothing to justify. Checkout opens on hypnosisdownloads.com in a new tab; priced in US dollars, and some cards add a foreign-transaction fee.
The publisher reports 4,296 purchases of this title.
Which of these happened in the last month?
- Their phone buzzed and you turned it over, or badly wanted to
- A name you didn’t know, zoomed in on in someone’s group photo
- Their “last seen” time checked against what they told you
- A friendly chat at a party, replayed on the drive home
- A question asked only so you could watch their face while they answered
Any two and this page is about you. If you were nodding because someone does these to you, go back to the box above.
What is in the Overcoming Jealousy session?
A single guided session of twenty and a half minutes, narrated by Mark Tyrrell, made for repeat listening. The publisher aims it at your own excessive jealousy, not a partner’s: the worst-case imagining, the unfair view of the relationship, the unease in yourself. It gives you a settled, structured time to rehearse the steps further down: noticing the story, leaving the phone alone, taking the fairer view.
Is a recording second best to a live session? The largest recent review of hypnosis for pain (Yim and Derbyshire, 2026) compared how it was delivered and found no meaningful difference between a live clinician, a recording and self-hypnosis. That research was on pain, not on jealousy, but it’s the best evidence there is that a recording isn’t a second-rate version of sitting in a room with someone.
There is a free sample on the publisher’s page, so you can hear Mark Tyrrell’s voice before you decide. You stay aware throughout and can stop it mid-sentence. Not while driving. It isn’t designed to tell you whether anyone is being unfaithful; no recording can do that.
Is it normal to have jealousy in a relationship?
Yes, in one form. A jolt when there is a real sign, a flirtation you watched or a secret you found, is ordinary. Across three studies covering 961 couples, Barelds and Barelds-Dijkstra found this reactive jealousy went with better relationship quality, for both partners. The anxious kind, brooding and suspecting when nothing has happened, went with worse quality in all three.
That second kind is usually what someone means when they type how to stop being jealous into a phone at one in the morning. It feels like being right early.
What are the three types of jealousy?
Barelds and Dijkstra (2006) distinguish three: reactive, anxious and possessive. Reactive is the jolt at a real threat. Anxious is the rumination, picturing what they might be doing and who with. Possessive is the attempt to stop it happening by restricting who a partner sees or where they go. Only the first starts from something the partner actually did.
Rydell and Bringle split it into reactive and suspicious in 2007. People with more reactive jealousy reported greater trust and greater dependence on the relationship. People with more suspicious jealousy reported greater insecurity, more anxious attachment, more avoidant attachment and lower self-esteem.
So the suspicious kind often tells you more about how safe you feel than about what they are doing. That is not a moral failing. It is an alarm wired to the wrong sensor, and staring harder at whatever it points at won’t rewire it.
Possessive jealousy is where it crosses into the box at the top. Once feeling jealous becomes deciding for someone else, it is no longer a private problem.
Overcoming JealousyUS$18.95 · instant download · full refund within 90 days if it isn’t right.
Opens the publisher’s checkout in a new tab. Or keep reading — the free techniques below cost nothing.
Why does checking their phone make it worse?
Because a check answers the wrong question. It can show you one harmless message, but it can never prove there isn’t another somewhere else, so the relief lasts until the next buzz. Métellus and colleagues followed 322 people aged 18 to 29 in relationships over two years. Jealousy sparked by social media went with more electronic partner surveillance, and with lower relationship satisfaction a year later.
That is an association, not proof that the checking caused the slide. It is still the opposite of what the checking promises, which is to settle things.
How do you get over being jealous in a relationship?
Work out which kind you are dealing with, then take the fuel away from the suspicious kind: fewer checks, not better ones, and saying the feeling rather than prosecuting it. None of it needs your partner’s cooperation to begin, and all of it is free. If you came here asking how to stop being jealous, this is the practical part, in the order I’d try it. The session is a good place to practise them.
- When it fires, ask one question: new evidence, or a new story?
Did something happen in the last hour that you could show a friend, or has your mind produced a scene? Reactive jealousy has a trigger you can point at. The suspicious kind mostly has pictures. Name which it is, out loud if you are alone. You are labelling the feeling, not arguing with it.
If it is evidence, it deserves a conversation. If it is a story, it deserves no action tonight.
- Slow the checking down rather than banning it
Phone, location, their socials, their “last seen”. Pick the one you check most and give it a rule: when the urge comes, wait twenty minutes and write down what you expect to find. Either the urge passes while you wait, or you check having decided to, which is a different act from being dragged into it.
If you follow their location through an app, turn it off with them and say why. Monitoring without consent is on 1800RESPECT’s list, however it feels from inside.
- Write three explanations, and let the worst be only one of them
Take whatever set it off, the late reply, the laugh at someone else’s joke, and write the three likeliest reasons for it. The worst one may go on the list. It just can’t be the whole list. This is reappraisal: not telling yourself it’s fine, but making your mind do the arithmetic it skipped.
- Say the feeling once, without the interrogation
“I felt jealous when you were texting at dinner, and I know some of that is mine” gets a different answer from “who were you texting?” The first invites reassurance you can hear. The second invites a defence, and a defended answer never satisfies suspicion. Once, at a calm moment, not at midnight.
Overcoming Jealousy
US$18.95About A$27 · one-off, no subscription.
- 20 minutes 34 seconds, narrated by Mark Tyrrell of Uncommon Knowledge
- An MP3 you keep, playable as often as you like
- A free sample on the publisher’s page, so the voice isn’t a gamble
- For jealousy that is yours, with nobody being tracked or restricted
Opens the publisher’s secure checkout · no account needed
The publisher reports 4,296 purchases of Overcoming Jealousy.
That is their own figure, a count of purchases rather than of outcomes.
What has and hasn’t been studied?
The jealousy research above describes how the two kinds work; hypnosis for jealousy itself hasn’t been trialled. Searching PubMed on 25 September 2026 for hypnosis or hypnotherapy together with jealousy returned a single record: a 2017 theory paper by Ramachandran and Jalal that mentions hypnotherapy only in a list of existing therapies. There is no trial of hypnosis for jealousy in relationships in PubMed, controlled or otherwise.
When to talk it through with someoneIf jealousy has already cost you a relationship, keeps you awake, or has had you doing things you’re ashamed of, that deserves a real conversation. Under Medicare’s Better Access initiative, a GP can refer you for up to 10 individual subsidised sessions a calendar year with an eligible mental health professional, such as a psychologist.
Relationships Australia (1300 364 277) offers individual and couple counselling. If there is control in the relationship, either way, start with individual.
Who is this session wrong for?
On this subject the person searching may be the one being harmed, so the list starts there. None of these is a character flaw, and each line points to the help that fits better than a recording.
- Your partner checks, tracks or restricts you. That is 1800RESPECT, on 1800 737 732.
- You check, track or restrict your partner and haven’t been able to stop. Individual counselling first.
- You have real evidence of an affair. Reactive jealousy is information, and it deserves a direct conversation.
- Your mood has been low for weeks, or the jealousy has stopped you sleeping or working. Start with a GP.
- You have had thoughts of not wanting to be here. Ring Lifeline on 13 11 14 tonight.
Free and confidential, open now. Tap to call.
Common questions about jealousy in relationships
What are the signs that someone is jealous?
Some are ordinary: a flash of hurt, a pointed question, a quiet evening. The ones that matter are behaviours. 1800RESPECT lists extreme jealousy, monitoring a phone or location without consent, cutting someone off from friends or family, and trying to control them as signs of an unhealthy relationship. If that describes your partner, ring 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, at any hour.
What is the difference between envy and jealousy?
Envy is wanting something another person has: their job, their ease, their relationship. Jealousy is the fear of losing something you already have to someone else, usually a partner’s attention to a rival. The two often arrive together, which is why searches blur them. This page and this session deal with jealousy, and mainly the anxious kind that runs without evidence.
Is a little jealousy healthy in a relationship?
A little reactive jealousy seems to be. Across three studies of 961 couples, the jolt at a real threat went with better relationship quality, while the anxious, suspicious kind went with worse, in every study. So it depends which kind you mean. Constant suspicion or checking is not healthy, and controlling jealousy can be a sign of abuse.
Does jealousy come from insecurity?
The suspicious kind often travels with it. Rydell and Bringle found in 2007 that people with more suspicious jealousy reported greater insecurity, more anxious attachment and lower self-esteem, while reactive jealousy went with greater trust. That is a correlation, not a verdict on you. If the fear underneath is mostly of being left, with no rival in the picture, the fear of abandonment session may fit better.
Can hypnosis stop jealousy?
What a recording offers is a calm, structured way to rehearse not checking and taking the fairer view, as often as you like. Whether hypnosis reduces jealousy hasn’t been tested: a PubMed search in September 2026 found no trial, only a 2017 theory paper that mentions hypnotherapy in passing. It is not a treatment, and no success rate has been measured.
What if the session does nothing for me?
Then you ask the publisher for your money back within 90 days, quoting your order number, and they refund the lot, no reason required. One refund per customer. Because there is a free sample on their page, you can find out whether the voice suits you before you spend anything at all.
Where these numbers come from
- Barelds DP, Dijkstra P. Reactive, anxious and possessive forms of jealousy and their relation to relationship quality among heterosexuals and homosexuals. J Homosex. 2006;51(3):183-98. doi:10.1300/J082v51n03_09
- Barelds DPH, Barelds-Dijkstra P. Relations between different types of jealousy and self and partner perceptions of relationship quality. Clin Psychol Psychother. 2007;14(3):176-88. doi:10.1002/cpp.532
- Rydell RJ, Bringle RG. Differentiating reactive and suspicious jealousy. Soc Behav Pers. 2007;35(8):1099-114. doi:10.2224/sbp.2007.35.8.1099
- Métellus S, Vaillancourt-Morel MP, Brassard A, Daspe MÈ. Attachment anxiety and relationship satisfaction in the digital era: the contribution of social media jealousy and electronic partner surveillance. J Marital Fam Ther. 2025;51(4):e70074. doi:10.1111/jmft.70074
- 1800RESPECT. Healthy relationships [Internet]. [cited 2026 Sep 25]. 1800respect.org.au
- Relationships Australia. Home [Internet]. [cited 2026 Sep 25]. relationships.org.au
- Australian Government Department of Health. Better Access initiative [Internet]. Canberra: Australian Government; [cited 2026 Sep 25]. health.gov.au
- Yim TH, Derbyshire SWG. A systematic review of hypnosis for clinical pain relief. Eur J Pain. 2026;30(8):e70369. doi:10.1002/ejp.70369
- PubMed search, 25 September 2026: hypnosis, hypnotherapy, hypnotherapeutic or self-hypnosis with jealousy or jealous in title or abstract. One record, Ramachandran and Jalal (2017), a theory paper; no trials.
- Running time, sample and purchase count: the publisher’s product page, 25 September 2026.
Other pages that may fit you better
- Relationships and heartbreakEvery session in this group, sorted by what is actually going on
- Fear Of AbandonmentIf there’s no rival in the picture and the dread is simply of being left
- Overcome Rejection SensitivityIf a flat reply from anyone, not only a partner, lands like a verdict
- Self Esteem BoosterIf the insecurity reaches well past the relationship, into work and friends
Whatever you decide about the session, pick the one check you do most and slow it down this week, writing down what you expected to find each time. That list is free, and it shows you your own pattern.
Ernest McLeod — clinical hypnotherapist. An Adelaide practice, seeing clients across Australia by video. Fourteen years in practice.
- ICHP
- FELLOW, ASCH
- IICT MEMBER
On a jealousy page, I think first about anyone who is being checked. That is why the box at the top comes first, and why one of the publisher’s sessions isn’t listed here. More →
Twenty and a half minutes, a free sample first, and ninety days
If the jealousy is yours, nobody is being tracked, and the sample voice suits you, this gives you a regular, quiet place to practise the four steps.
US$18.95Instant download · 90-day refund · about A$27
Results vary from person to person, and hypnosis does not replace medical care or treatment. This is a self-help audio session, not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. If a partner checks, tracks, controls or frightens you, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or text 0458 737 732; in immediate danger, call 000. Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277. Never listen while driving.